Learn To Move On
by vampireshanster
Summary: What happens to bella when the most precious thing in her life......DIES! Disclaimer: i don't own the twilight series or any of the characters in them


**This is my 2****nd**** fanfic and thanks to all who reviewed on my first one it was great. Um.. I hope you like this one it's a bit sad but hey not every story is happy. So anyway enjoy and R&R….**

_**Learn To Move On**_

It's been 17 years since my mum died. Well, she died during childbirth; to me. It's kind of weird because most girls love their mums so dearly. Me, I'm not like most girls. I don't really care that my mum died. Sometimes I feel bad because I'm the reason she died but, then again I couldn't really help that. I don't care because I never got attached to her, I never got to hate her, I never loved her, I didn't build any emotional feelings towards her. For me it's like whom needs a mum when you have the best dad in the world. Or, _had_ the best dad. He died a week ago on my seventeenth birthday. I have only just been able to talk about it to myself; like this anyway.

If I've lost anyone well I'm sorry but I can't talk about it too much. Though I will try….

My names Bella Swan and I am officially alone.

I live in a small town called Forks and I am just about to start at a new school called Forks High. Have you ever lost somebody? And I mean someone really close to you. It feels like the whole world has stopped and your heart has been ripped out and thrown away, never to be found again. With me I go beyond that. Not only does that happen to me; I just stop living. I don't mean that literally of course I'm still living or I wouldn't be writing this. But, there is the world that cries and cries when they have lost somebody and takes comfort in those around them. Then there is me, who blocks out everything.

My whole body creates this barrier around me not letting anyone in. I could scream and nobody would know. People try to help me, show me kindness and love. I give them praise for trying, I just wish I could tell them. But my body won't let me. I do everything I have to, chores and whatever but then after I just go away and do nothing and live the next day wondering when I will be me again.

So yesterday I started school for the first time in a while. I feel sorry for everyone who was nice to me because I know I didn't show them the same respect. My day went like this…

I drove to school and was happy I was the first one there. I wasn't happy as in jumping up and down with a smile on my face; it was more like happy that no-one has to see me just yet so I could try to seem a bit more alive. I went into the administration office so I could get my schedule. I went to the lady at the counter and asked her if I could have my schedule and a map.

"Yeah sure," she sounded bored "get all your teachers to sign this." She handed me some pieces of paper and with that turned back to her computer screen. I was pleased by the way she didn't pay any attention to me what-so-ever. I might just get to like this school I thought to myself.

I was picking up my bag and about to leave when I heard a male velvety voice.

"Hi Mrs Redlack is the principal in," he said with a little to much emphasis on Mrs.

"No Edward he isn't but you can sit and wait if you'd like," Mrs Redlack said in what I think was suppose to be a sexy voice. Unfortunately she failed with that. Now I know why Edward emphasized the Mrs. She liked him. EWWWWWW! Not the best thought I wanted; a teacher liking a student.

I was out of the office by then and didn't pick up on how the rest of the conversation went. It only just occurred to me that Edward was really cute. To be honest I'm sure the whole school would have been falling for him and so I thought I didn't have much of a chance and banished all thoughts from my head.

The first part of the day was really quite boring and went real quick. I had English which I was pretty good at. Not to boast or anything I was an A average student. But, then we had lunch and some of the kids from my class invited me to sit with them even though I wasn't really that nice to them.

Earlier on one of the boys named Mike Newton came up to me.

The first thing he said was, "Hey I'm really sorry about your dad Bella."

A couple of things bothered with what he said, other then the fact he talked to me in the first place. Firstly, how did he know my name? How did he know about my dad? And, the way he said it didn't sound like he really cared whether my dad was alive or dead. Not that it should or anything.

"He was a really good police officer. My dad and he were close. He talked about you heaps," he answered as if he were reading my mind "so anyway I think I have English with you, I'll walk you there."

"thanks but no thanks." I'm so nice aren't I.

" oh..o..if.." he stuttered. I wasn't about to feel sorry for him because I turned him down. "I mean…ah.. I'll see you there then."

So now I was sitting with him at a table full of people. Don't ask me how that happened. It's not like I made any effort what-so-ever to get involved in the conversations. I looked around the room and saw how small it really was. That's when my eyes caught a glimpse of Edward sitting at a table with 5 other people who looked just as good as him. Wait good can't explain it, more like: fabulous, amazing, movie starish and drop dead gorgeous. That's better. What amazed me was the fact that he was looking at me already. Of course I blushed and looked away.

I asked Mike "Who are they." I was pointing towards their table. When I few seconds passed and mike still hadn't answered I looked up.

The whole table was gawking at me like I was… I donno….. dead. It made me feel really uncomfortable. That's when I remembered that no-one had heard me talk before. When everyone got over it Mike replied.

"Oh they're the Cullens." He didn't sound like he liked them.

"No-one talks to them. They are social outcasts. They only talk amongst themselves." Mike left it at that so I didn't bother to ask any more.

Like I said with the first part of school, the second half was just as boring and just as quick. I decided I would stay after school for a bit until everyone left. When I thought it was safe I walked to my car and realized that there was one other car there. A silver Volvo.

That's when I saw Edward standing next me.

"Hi," he said. I was wandering why he was talking to me.

"Um… hi," I replied. Still wandering.

"So what's with you?"

"What do you mean."

"You walk around like you don't care about anything or anyone. You aren't nice to anyone who tries to be nice to you. And, actually I'm surprised you have talked to me." He said smoothly

"Oh." I was gobsmacked. Who did this guy think he was. He can't just judge people without knowing them. I was furious.

"Well, I'm sorry if it is inconvenient for you," I almost yelled at him.

I went to open my car door but Edward just pushed it shut without effort.

"What's your problem?"

"I can't answer that until you answer my question."

"I'm going through a hard time at the moment. So, if you wouldn't mind," I signaled at my door but he didn't budge. I let out a groan. He seemed amused that he was so annoying.

"What is it?"

"None of your business that's what it is."

"If you want to leave you will tell me." Man he was annoying. I was too tired to argue so I just told him.

"My dad died." All of a sudden his face fell a fraction and I could tell that it wasn't what he was expecting.

"Yes that's right. A week ago. On my seventeenth birthday." I could feel tears swelling up but I held them in.

"Ok." He moved out of my way. Is that all he was going to say.

"Oh."

"What, were you expecting me to say more?" he actually looked puzzled.

"Well actually yes."

"You are not the only one who has lost someone." Immediately I could tell he had too.

"You have too? Who was it?"

"Yes I have. My mother, but it's a long story."

"I have time."

"I need to know if I can trust you." He said very seriously like his life depended on it.

"Yes, of course you can." I barely knew Edward but some how I already felt like I had a connection with him and I wondered if he felt it too.

So we sat on the grass and he began telling his life story.

A couple of hours passed and it was dark by now. What I didn't expect from his story was that his life really did depend on me keeping this secret. Three things I figured out from his story. They are: Edward Cullen is a vampire and so were the rest of the Cullens, he is more than 100 years old and last; I was in love with him.

I was silent for so long I didn't know if I could speak again.

"So, what do you think?"

I thought so many things I thought my head would explode. See, there was another thing I was already thinking. I felt sad, happy, jealousy e.t.c. Mostly I felt love. His story had so much of it. His love for his mother, his new life and his family.

That's when I realized why I blocked myself out of life when my dad died? It's because I loved him so much I didn't want to let him go so I tried so hard to hold on to him. That was the wrong thing to do. I should have accepted it and moved on with my life. That's what my dad would have wanted.

With that thought I leant against Edward's chest.

He put his arms around me and just held me there. We didn't need to say anything.

And for the first time since my dad died, I just cried.


End file.
